


Interviews from Arkham

by AverageNerd321



Series: Interviews from Arkham [1]
Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Character Study, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Minor Harleen Quinzel/Joker, Minor Oswald Cobblepot/Edward Nygma, Minor Selina Kyle/Bruce Wayne, One-Sided Oswald Cobblepot/Jim Gordon, Original Character(s), Originally Posted on FanFiction.Net, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-23
Updated: 2018-08-23
Packaged: 2019-07-01 13:45:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 16
Words: 8,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15775296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AverageNerd321/pseuds/AverageNerd321
Summary: A new therapist at Arkham Asylum must interview Batman's Rogues Gallery. (Contains different interpretations of the characters from the animated series, Arkham games, Gotham, the comics, and my own interpretation)





	1. Welcome to Arkham

Holy hell was this place creepy. I stood at the front gates of Arkham Asylum to begin my job as a therapist. Psychoanalyzing the most notorious criminals in Gotham City wasn’t going to be a piece of cake, but I was ready for anything they were going to throw at me.

I walked towards the creepy, almost gothic building as worrying thoughts filled my brain: what if one of these psychos were to kill me? Taking a deep breath, I pushed the doors open and entered the foyer.

It appeared cold and unforgiving while my footsteps echoed across the metal paneling as I walked to the door that read: _Arkham Asylum Intensive Treatment_. Standing in front of the door was Warden Sharp, my new boss.

“Miles Liebermann, I presume?” he asked.

I nodded. It didn’t seem to be a bad start so far…

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Sharp.”

“Same to you. Honestly, I’m kind of scared.”

Mr. Sharp patted me on the back and said, “We may have a bad reputation, but we’ll always have Batman to put these criminals back if they ever escape.”

I heard stories about this Batman guy, but I’ve never seen him personally. This should be fun to interview the guys who get their asses kicked by him on a daily basis.

“So, when do I start?” 

“You seem awfully enthusiastic about this. Why don’t you do it now? I’ll send in your first patient immediately.” 

I shook his hand and walked to wherever my office was. Oh boy, this was going to be an interesting…


	2. Harley Quinn

I sat in my chair as I tapped on the recorder Mr. Sharp had left for me and waited for my first patient to arrive. My office mainly consisted of the chair I was currently in, a couch, and a desk with a computer on it. It looked like something out of those psychological thriller movies I watched in my spare time.

Judging by my patient’s profile, she was once in the same position as me: a therapist in Arkham looking to psychoanalyze a bunch of criminals. I jumped once the door creaked open and my first patient walked in.

She had her hair in pigtails with the tips dyed red or black, messy makeup, and was wearing red and black clothes. I put on my best smile as she closed the door behind her.

“Dr. Quinzel?” I asked as I held out my hand for her to shake. “I’m Dr. Liebermann.”

She grinned at me and shook my hand, saying, “You can call me Harley. I don’t go by that doctor thing anymore.” 

I nodded and switched my recorder on.

“My name is Dr. Miles Liebermann. The time is 12:29 PM on August 8.  This is my first psychoanalysis. The patient’s name is Dr. Harleen Janice Quinzel, alias Harley Quinn.” I said.

“Oooh, using middle names too, huh?” Harley asked me with a small laugh.

 I ignored her and decided to start shooting questions immediately. 

 

“Harley, tell me about yourself. First, what was your childhood like?”

 

“Meh, it was normal. My family was pretty simple to be honest.”

 

“Go on…” I said with a nod. “When did you get so interested in being a therapist that made you consider taking the job in Arkham?”

“Well, psychology was one of my favorite subjects in high school. There was this little…spark thingy that made me want to study it further.” Harley said.

 

 _Just like me…_ I thought in fear.

I’m so glad that I never wanted to resort to murder or become a psychopath…

 

“Next question: what drew you to The Joker?”

 

“Have you seen Mr. J? He has such a great sense of humor, an adorable smile, nice hair…he’s perfect.”

 

I raised an eyebrow.

 _Obsessive much?_ I thought.

I haven’t even got to interviewing “Mr. J” yet.

 

I cleared my throat and asked, “If I’m correct, you worked as The Joker’s therapist before becoming his sidekick, right?”   
  


“Exactly. Wow, you’re a smart one, aren’t ya?” Harley said with a nod.

I decided to move onto the next question, ignoring her completely.

 

“Anyways, last question…what’s your relationship with Batman like?”

 

“I’ve always hated the B-Man. He’s always ruining the fun me and my puddin’ have…”

 

“And that’s all of the questions I have for you.” I said as I shook Harley’s hand again. “It was nice talking to you, Harley.”

 

“Aww, you’re too kind, doc! Y’know, you remind a bit of myself before I went crazy,” she said before leaving my office.

 I shut off my recorder and took a deep breath. Hopefully, the next patient was as easy as Harley, but less obsessive…


	3. Killer Croc

After writing my notes about Harley on the computer, I returned to my seat and stared at the door, waiting for my next patient to arrive. Thankfully (or unfortunately), I heard booming footsteps as the…thing that I was interviewing entered. 

I assumed the files were joking when they said that he wasn’t human, but I was wrong. Dead wrong.  He was a massive crocodile monster with a tail as long as a truck, spikes on most parts of him, and teeth and claws as big as my body. 

Needless to say, I was intimidated since I always had a fear of alligators and crocodiles growing up. I regained my composure and held out my hand to him, even if it wasn’t the best idea.

 

“Mr. Jones? If you can understand me, my name is Dr. Liebermann.” I said.

 

 _Oh god, I hope I didn’t squeak that out…things like him smell fear._ I thought.

He glared at me and ignored my hand, thankfully not biting it off.

 

“I understand you,” he said in a low, growling voice. 

I turned on the recorded and said, “This is Dr. Miles Liebermann. The time is 11:51 AM on August 9. The patient’s name is Waylon Creed Jones, alias Killer Croc. Do you mind if I ask you a few questions?”  

He grunted in response. I took this as a yes and began to ask my questions.

 

“What was your childhood like?”

 

“Horrible. My parents left me on the doorstep of my alcoholic aunt because I look like this. I was bullied for that too.”

 

I felt a small bit of sympathy, but shook my head and decided to move on as I asked, “And years later, you worked for a freak show for a short amount of time, correct?”

He nodded.

 

“I was an alligator wrestler, that was how I got the name Killer Croc,” he said.

 _I can tell._ I thought.

 

“According to the files, you have an intense hatred for humanity. Care to elaborate?”

 

“I only don’t like humanity because I’ve been treated like some freak my whole life. The only humans that I find passable are some of the other patients here.”

 

I nodded and asked, “And now, for my last question, what’s your relationship with Batman like?”

He growled at this, making me feel nervous. Angering a creature like this was the last thing I wanted to do.

 

“I want to devour Batman. Rip him apart, eat his bones…” he said.

 

Killer Croc muttered some other things under his breath before I took a deep breath, trying to not show off that I was afraid. He turned and snarled at me.

“I’ve got your sent, doctor.” Killer Croc said before he left the room.

 _Oh thank god, it’s over._ I thought as I shut off my recorder and went to take notes on the computer.  


	4. The Riddler

I took a deep breath and brushed my hair out of my eyes as I looked at my recorder. My next patient should be here any minute now. I hope that he’s not running late…

I spent some time fiddling with the recorder when the door opened and my patient walked in. I looked up and saw a man wearing glasses, black gloves, and a green suit smiling at me. He looked…normal compared to the two I’ve been through so far. What was a guy like him doing in this place? 

The files warned that he had a split personality and self-inflicted scars on his arms, but I didn’t believe it. He didn’t even look or act like he had one or did such things.

 

“Hi, I’m Edward Nygma,” he said as he shook my hand.

“The name’s Dr. Liebermann.” I said, watching him take a seat.

 

“Do you mind if I ask you a question?”

 

“Go on. I didn’t even begin recording.”

 

“Do you like riddles?”

 

I paused. Honestly, riddles weren’t my forte. I wasn’t even big on puzzles either. Shrugging, I turned on my recorder.

 

“This is Dr. Miles Liebermann. The time is 1:42 PM on August 11. The patient’s name is Edward Ashton Nygma, alias The Riddler.” I said.

He seemed to have tensed in his seat. I didn’t pay any attention to it, even though I wished I did and began my questions.

 

“What was your childhood like?”

 

“It was honestly really lonely. I was the middle child out of five siblings and my family basically acted like I didn’t exist, not to mention I was bullied in school for being…different.”

Before I could move onto the next question, I heard Riddler groan. His expression had changed to smug, yet annoyed.

 

“I can’t believe he wouldn’t stop whining about how mom and dad loved Charlie, Tiff, Angel, and Marty more than him…” he said.

 _Well, there’s that other split personality the files talked about. It also mentioned to not bring up those scars since he’s sensitive about them._ I thought.

 

Immediately, he snapped out of the other personality and asked me, “What kind of coat do you only put on when it’s wet?”

I blinked, not sure how to respond and moved onto the next question.

 

“Did you have any love interests before meeting Mr. Cobblepot? I heard that you two are an item.” I asked.

 

His expression saddened as he looked away from me. I must’ve hit a nerve with that…

“The life upon her yellow hair, but not within her eyes. The life still there upon her hair, the death upon her eyes…” he said under his breath.

I recognized the poem that line was from: it was Edgar Allen Poe’s Lenore. I hadn’t read it since high school…

 

“Only one.”

 

“Go on. Tell me about her…”

 

“Her name was Kristen Kringle. She was the archive keeper at the GCPD. I was in love with her ever since I first took the forensics job…sometime later, while we were dating, I... I killed her. Cobblepot saved my life before I had the chance to kill myself.”

 

 _Damn, poor guy._ I thought.

All of a sudden, he let out a cruel laugh as the other personality said, “He blamed me for this, you know. I was only doing him a favor by killing the tramp. She never actually loved him. Cobblepot is better than she ever was.”

I nodded. All I wanted was to talk to normal Edward just to ask him another question…he came back to his normal self and fixed his glasses.

 

“Did you know that a writer predicted the Titanic’s sinking before it was even built?” he asked.

I blinked before moving onto the next question.

  
“Is it true that you killed Officer Tom Doughtery because he was dating Kristen before his death?” I asked.

He nodded and avoided eye contact with me. I took a deep breath.

 

“Last question: what’s your relationship with Batman?”

 

“I think that he’s a nice guy. He knows the answers to my riddles and knows the facts I give.”

Before I could say anything, the personality came back and growled at the mention of Batman.

“I hate him. He’s always getting in the way of my plans. Sometimes, I just want to kill him!” he said, clenching his fists.

 

I gulped and said, “It was a pleasure talking to you, Mr. Nygma.”

 

He jumped and reverted back to his normal self. Riddler shook my hand, giving me a smile. 

“I’m so sorry if I might’ve scared you. It’s just…beyond my control,” he said.

With that, he left the office.


	5. Catwoman

I finished my Riddler notes and returned to my seat. His madness was almost uncomfortable for me. I couldn’t get it out of my head on how someone as normal as him was crazy. I didn’t want to be like that at all.

I stared at my phone to check the time before putting it back in my pocket and turned my attention to my recorder. Where was she? The files said that she tends to come out whenever she feels like it.

Finally, the door opened and she walked in. She had short black hair and wore a black jumpsuit with a black helmet with cat ears and red goggles on it.

 

“Miss Kyle?” I asked, holding out my hand. “I’m Dr. Liebermann.”

 

She smiled slightly at me and shook my hand, saying, “Pleasure to meet you, doctor.”

With that, she took a seat as I switched on my recorder.

 

“This is Dr. Miles Liebermann. The time is 9:44 AM on August 12. The patient’s name is Selina Catherine Kyle, alias Catwoman.” I said. “If you don’t mind, I have some questions to ask you.”

 

“Go on ahead. I don’t mind at all.”

 

“What was your childhood like?”

 

“I was an orphan who grew up on Gotham’s streets. To survive, I became a thief. I started out simple: stealing wallets to get cash to buy things, taking people’s groceries to feed myself, and so on.”

 

I nodded. This made sense to me.

“Did you have any men you were interested in?” I asked.

 

“Not really. I was too busy stealing from other people to concern myself with romance,” she said. “I DID date Harvey Dent once, but we broke up after he caught me robbing someone.”

 

“If I’m correct, you seem to move around from place to place a lot, right?”

 

“Exactly. Cats don’t really care much about little things, except for getting food and having a comfortable shelter. I care about those two things and money.”

  

I understood her answer. So far, Catwoman didn’t seem particularly villainous. Instead, she reminded me of a pirate: stealing or doing things for her own personal gain and not caring for what side to pick.

“Here’s my last question: what’s your relationship with Batman like assuming that the rumors are true?” I asked.

 

“The rumors are very true, doctor. Bats is…stubborn about his feelings to say the least, but who doesn’t love a little hard to get?” she said. “I find him cute.”

 

“Thanks, Miss Kyle. I have everything I need.”

“You’re very welcome, doctor. Harley has told me and Ivy a lot about you after her interview.”  


She then stepped out of the office. I sighed and went to write my notes on Catwoman.


	6. Mr. Freeze

I shivered after I finished fixing the air conditioning. According to the files, my next patient had a preference for the cold since it was vital to his survival. It was like sitting a freezer as I rubbed my hands together and stared at the recorder.

Mechanical sounds were soon in my earshot as the door opened. A pale man dressed in a bulky, metal armored suit that was painted black and blue, black gloves, and red goggles walked in as I got up and held out my hand.

 

“Dr. Fries, I’m Dr. Liebermann.” I said.

 

He stared at me, a blank expression on his face, before looking at my hand.

 

“I go by Mr. Freeze, doctor,” he said in a robotic voice as he took a seat.

 

With that, I turned on my recorder and said, “This is Dr. Miles Liebermann. The time is 7:35 PM on August 13. The patient’s name is Dr. Victor Ivan Fries, alias Mr. Freeze.”

 

The mechanical creaking filled my ears as he pulled out a small snow globe with a blonde woman dancing inside, staring at it with extreme concentration.

 

“What was your childhood like?”

 

“There isn’t much to tell. My parents were scientists, so in turn, I learned what I know from them. Interactions with children when I was young was…difficult, but it wasn’t a big problem for me. My parents always taught me to keep to myself and always work.”

 

I nodded. This was good so far… 

“Could you tell me about your wife? How did you two meet?” I asked, dreading that I struck a nerve. 

He sighed, his eyes still on the snow globe as he stroked the glass dome. I was shocked by the fact that his expression hadn’t changed despite the sensitive topic.

 

“I believe I was almost thirty when I met Nora. Ferris Boyle, that bastard, dragged me to see a ballet: Romeo and Juliet. I was never one for stage plays and preferred to be in my lab working on a new experiment.” he said. “It was dull until I saw HER as Juliet. She stood out compared to the others, of course, she took my breath away. After the show, I went to the gift shop and bought this snow globe. Before I could leave, we bumped into each other and I asked her to accompany me to dinner. A few years later, we got married…”

“And then, she got that disease, so you decided to cryogenically freeze her, correct?”

 

“Yes, I couldn’t let her die. It was all going so well until Boyle made me into…this: a so-called heartless creature trapped in this metal abyss chilled to keep me alive. I already died when Nora caught the illness.”

 

I choked back some tears, knowing that whoever he was before didn’t deserve such a fate like that.

 

“I have one more question for you: what’s your relationship with Batman?” I asked.

 

He groaned and said, “Batman mocks my pain. He never understands what it’s like to lose someone you have undying love for. Don’t you know how painful it is to not feel the summer heat anymore? To not hold hands with the love of your life? The memory of Nora is all I have left!” 

I was in shock as I turned off my recorder, the pity I felt for this man was strong. If I tried to comfort him, he would definitely try to kill me and possibly leave my frozen corpse as a new statue in the asylum.

 

“Thank you for telling me, Mr. Freeze.” I said, shaking his hand.

He was silent and nodded as I held the door for him to exit the office. I could still hear the mechanical clicks in my head even after he left.


	7. The Penguin

After I finished my notes on Mr. Freeze, I fixed the air conditioning and took a seat in my chair, waiting for my next patient to arrive. I’ve heard many stories about him and his reign as the King of Gotham’s crime, so this should be a fun one.

I adjusted my recorder as the door opened and my patient walked in.

Well, he more limped in. A man with messy black hair dressed in a fancy black suit went up to me and held out his hand.

 

“Oswald Cobblepot at your service,” he said as I shook his hand.

 

“I’m Dr. Liebermann.” I said. “Feel free to take a seat, Mr. Cobblepot.”

 

He nodded as I turned on my recorder. I couldn’t help, but notice that he was studying my every move like he was planning something.

 _That’s…creepy._ I thought.

 

“This is Dr. Miles Liebermann. The time is 11:22 AM on August 14. The patient’s name is Oswald Elijah Cobblepot, alias The Penguin. Do you mind if I ask you a few questions, Mr. Cobblepot?”

 

“Not at all, Dr. Liebermann.”

 

I nodded and asked him, “What was your childhood like?”

 

“Utterly miserable. I had an excellent relationship with my mother, but my father, on the other hand, that’s a different story…” he said, his eyes still on me.

 

“Care to elaborate on what your relationship with your father was like?”

 

“He abused me as a child. Anytime I defied, disobeyed, or questioned him, BAM! WHACK! I would get slapped or punched right in the face. I actually got my limp from him before he became my first kill.”

 

He continued to stare at me as I cleared my throat and went to the next question.

 

“I know you and Mr. Nygma are an item, but did you have any love interests before him?” I asked.

 

“Yes, there were two men I cared for,” he said. “The first was Kilian Alistar, my former best friend. Our fathers were friends and we went to the same school together. I was extremely attracted to him, but he never returned my feelings. We haven’t talked since then.”

I could’ve sworn he was crying when describing his childhood friend. I felt a tug at my heartstrings and the urge to ask Mr. Sharp to let him out of this place increased dramatically.

 

“And the second man was?”

 

“Jim Gordon, the commissioner. He spared my life back when I was just a simple umbrella boy working for Fish Mooney. After that, I fell madly in love with him.  I did everything in my power to show how much I cared for him, but one day, he rejected me, instead going with Harvey Bullock, who’s now the captain.”

 

 _He loved Commissioner Gordon? Interesting._ I thought before noticing that he was still watching my every move.

“Final question, Mr. Cobblepot. What’s your relationship with Batman?” I asked.

 

He laughed at this question and said, “Ah, yes, Batman…he’s interesting to say the least. What I want to do is figure out his weak spots, so I can manipulate him to do my bidding.”

 

I switched my recorder off, shivering when I noticed that he was still staring at me. Penguin reminded me a lot of Keyser Soze from _The Usual Suspects_ : he walked with a limp, he was a criminal mastermind, and people underestimated him. This was a fun interview to do. 

“May I leave now?” he asked, getting up and shaking my hand.

 

“Go on, Mr. Cobblepot. You’re free to go.” I said.

 

He smiled at me and limped out of the office as I took a seat at my desk to take notes.


	8. Poison Ivy

I leaned back in my chair, waiting for my next patient to arrive. I tapped on my recorder until I heard the door open and saw her walk in as I bit my lip upon seeing her. She was the prettiest out of all the patients I’ve been through so far. She had long, red hair and was dressed in green.

Needless to say, I was speechless, but I kept my cool and held my hand out to her.

 

“Dr. Isley?” I asked. “I’m Dr. Liebermann.”

 

“So, you’re the one Selina and Harley have been talking about…it’s a pleasure to meet you, doctor,” she said.

 

 _Damn…_ I thought.

She then leaned in and kissed my cheek before giving me a seductive stare. I took a deep breath, screaming internally at myself about how I’m falling for some eco-terrorist.

 

“Please! Take a seat. I just have a few questions to ask you.” I said as we sat down at the same time.

 

 _Oh god, we were already in sync…this is freaky!_ I thought.

 

I was quick to turn on my recorder and said, “This is Dr. Miles Liebermann. The time is 8:45 PM on August 15. The patient’s name is Pamela Lillian Isley, alias Poison Ivy.”

 

“Feel free to ask me anything, sweetie.” she said.

 

“What was your childhood like?”

 

“It wasn’t the best. My father was framed for killing Thomas and Martha Wayne and later killed by Gordon and Bullock. When my mother fell apart, I was taken by social workers and placed into adoption. After that, it was just dull.”

 

I nodded.

 

“You’re notorious for having lots of loves. Why don’t you tell me about your love life?” I asked.

She laughed at this and nodded, saying, “It’s true. I’ve had lots of men that I loved, but one stood out compared to the others: Batman’s sidekick, Robin. He was so easy to manipulate and I thought his admiration for me was cute, but I got bored of him and dumped him.”

 

“Now, you became this way because Dr. Woodrue poisoned you, right?”

 

“You’re correct. Jason did me a massive favor and helped me discover my destiny: to get rid of the weeds of humanity to make my plants flourish.”

 

 _SOMEBODY has a plant fetish._ I thought.

 

“Alright, here’s my last question, Miss Isley: what’s your relationship with Batman?” I asked.

 

“Please, doctor, you don’t have to be so formal. Just call me Ivy.” she said. “As for Batman, I think he’s hot. He fits the tall, dark, and handsome profile, you know? Then again, I find everyone, be it men or women, hot.”

 

I shut off my recorder and said, “It was a pleasure talking to you, Ivy. Thank you for answering my questions.”

 

“No, thank YOU, sweetie.” she said before giving me a kiss on the cheek. “You know where to find me if you want to have a little…fun.”

 

I wiped some sweat off my forehead as I held the door for Poison Ivy, who gave me a seductive wink before disappearing into the hallway.

 

I needed to interview a male patient to get my mind off of her. This ordeal felt…awkward.


	9. Clayface

Once my notes on Poison Ivy were done (I was so grateful that they were), I checked the time on my phone. I was excited for the next patient since it was famous actor Matt Hagen, the so called “Man of a Million Faces”. I loved his works because he seemed to become one with his characters.

The door creaked open as I tried to repress the urge to act like a crazed fan and pin him to the ground to ask him for his autograph. But then, he walked in…and he didn’t look anything like the photos. His black hair was now light brown, his skin was the same color and cracking, and his eyes were amber.

 

“Mr. Hagan, I’m Dr. Liebermann.” I said, mentally trying not scream.

 

He stared at me before taking a seat. Knowing that I must’ve done something wrong, I turned on the recorder.

 

“This is Dr. Miles Liebermann. The time is 9:54 AM on August 16. The patient’s name is Matthew Charles Hagen, alias Clayface. Do you mind if I ask you some questions?” I asked.

 

“Alright, doctor…” he said under his breath.

 

 _I can’t believe I’m talking to THE Matt Hagen, even if he doesn’t look like how I remember._ I thought.

 

“What was your childhood like?”

 

“There’s nothing to talk about. It was normal. I was discovered when I was a teenager after my parents submitted a video of me acting in a school play to Imperial Pictures. It wasn’t long until I was offered my first role.” 

 _Makes sense to me._ I thought.

 

“Would you care to elaborate on your accident and what led up into you becoming like…this?” I asked.

 

It still shook me to my core that a successful actor like him ended up becoming a criminal.

“It was a car accident that permanently damaged my face. While I was in the burn clinic, Roland Daggett approached me to become a test subject for this chemical that would restore my face,” he said. “In return, I had to impersonate people for him. I tried to steal the chemical, but his henchmen poured it on my face, making me look like this.”

 

“Is it true that you once impersonated Bruce Wayne?”

“Yes, Daggett wanted me to get some files from Wayne Enterprises.”

 _This also makes sense regarding the shapeshifting powers the files mentioned…_ I thought.

 

“Last question, Mr. Hagan.” I said. “What’s your relationship with Batman?”

 

He scoffed and said, “I don’t really care about him. The one thing that I didn’t like was that he got in the way of getting my revenge on Daggett.  I hate looking like this, I just want to be normal!”

His brief meltdown was giving me serious flashbacks of the Mr. Freeze interview as I cleared my throat.

 

“Thank you for all the information.”

 

“I guess I’ll see you around, doctor…”

With that, he walked out of my office and I sat down at my desk to do my notes once he was gone.


	10. Two Face

Sighing, I leaned back in my chair, hoping to get some rest before my next patient arrives. I never expected interviewing and therapy on these criminals to be so exhausting. Immediately, I stood up when I heard the door open. A familiar black haired man in a white suit flipping a coin multiple times walked in, much to my shock.

 _Wait, what? The files have to be wrong!_ I thought.

And then, he turned his head: the right side of his face and body was horrifically scarred and his hair on that side was white and messy while his suit was black on that side and his right eye was bright yellow in color. I repressed the urge to throw up when I looked at him. 

 

“What?” he asked in an annoyed tone.

 

“Mr. Dent, I’m Dr. Liebermann.” I said, holding out my hand.

 

He stared at me before taking a seat on the couch. What was it with everyone suddenly not wanting to shake my hand? 

I turned on my recorder, still hearing the PING, PING of the coin in the background.

 

“This is Dr. Miles Liebermann. The time is 12:20 PM on August 17. The patient’s name is Harvey Thomas Dent, alias Two Face.”

 

“Can we just get this over with? I’m not too fond of talking about the past…”

 

“What was your childhood like?” I asked.

 

“I guess you can say that I had a nice childhood. We lived a comfortable life because of my father’s career as a lawyer. My mother was his partner, so politics was a common thing in my family.” he said.

 

 _I can see that’s why he became the DA._ I thought.

 

“Could you tell me about your love life? If I remember correctly, you and Grace Lamont were engaged before the incident that scarred your face.”

 

He went silent, the only sound being the coin’s flipping. I swore I saw a tear run down the normal side of his face.

 

“I’ve had many girlfriends in the past before I met Grace: Selina Kyle, Pamela Isley, Veronica Vreeland, this socialite girl named Brenda…but there was one who stood out among the rest: Rachel Dawes. We dated in law school, unfortunately, she died. That was how Big Bad Harv came into the picture. I loved Rachel more than anything! Things could’ve been perfect for us, but Commissioner Gordon got the wrong damn address to save her! It’s so unfair!”

 

I winced upon looking at him yelling. I knew the details about Mr. Dent’s split personality, but hearing about it’s origins from the perspective of the person suffering was heartbreaking.

 

“You blame the commissioner for Rachel’s death?” I asked.

 

“Of course, I blame him, Maroni and his men, and the GCPD.” he said with a growl.

 

I nodded. Two Face was an incredibly hot headed patient, probably the angriest I’ve had so far.

 

“For the last question, I know you mentioned this earlier, but what’s your relationship with Batman?”

 

“He could’ve stopped Thorne from exposing my secret, but all that did was make me into…this!”

 

He gestured to the ruined side of his face.

 

“You’re free to—” I began to say.

 

Suddenly, he flipped his coin and slammed it onto his hand as I looked over and saw that it landed on heads. What did that mean?

 

“I guess you live,” he said before getting up and leaving.

I then went to my desk to write my notes.


	11. Talia al Ghul

Upon finding out that my next patient was female, I was slightly worried. The Poison Ivy interview still left me shaken from her advances, even if it was from a few days ago.

The files warned that she was highly trained in combat, which worried me a bit more. What if I got attacked?

I jumped when I heard the door open and my patient walked in: she looked beautiful minus the deadly glint in her eyes. Her brown hair was in her face and she was wearing a black jumpsuit.

 

“Miss al Ghul?” I asked, holding out my hand. “I’m Dr. Liebermann.”

 

She looked between me and my hand. Suddenly, she gripped it and nearly threw me into my chair. I was quick enough to pull back in fear, panting as she laughed at me.

“I was only taunting you, doctor.” she said before taking a seat on the couch.

 

I nodded and sighed while turning on my recorder.

“This is Dr. Miles Liebermann. The time is 8:20 AM on August 18. The patient’s name is Talia Desmonda al Ghul. There is no alias for this patient. Now, Talia, do you mind if I ask you a few questions?”

 

“Of course I don’t mind.”

 

“First off, tell me about your childhood.” I said.

 

“It was mainly spent training. My father taught me everything I know as we traveled the world together. I was named heir to the League of Assassins at a young age,” she said. “He also had me go into the Lazarus Pit a few times, even though he thought I was a failure.”

 _Her father’s interview should be interesting once I get to him…_ I thought.

 

“Why do you think he considered you a failure?”

 

“I will never know for sure, but I took it upon myself to not be viewed as that by him again.”

 

I never understood why majority of these villains had parental issues, mainly with their fathers.

“Is it true that you were in a relationship with Bruce Wayne?” I asked.

 

“Yes, we were together for five years. We broke it off sometime later, even if we were equals in every way possible. I didn’t care for him though.” she said.

 _The files mentioned that she had a son sixteen years ago, but she gets hostile when someone asks her about him. It’s best that I don’t…_ I thought.

 

“Here’s my last question, what’s your relationship with Batman?”

 

“I know the true identity of Batman, but I won’t reveal it. That Nygma fellow keeps talking about how it’s the Ultimate Riddle and bothers me constantly about it. Batman’s mask is a mark of honor. He is a skilled warrior with a brilliant intelligence, but he’s not worthy for the League of Assassins.”

 

I turned off my recorder and shook her hand, saying, “Thank you, Talia. I have everything I need.”

 

“You’re very welcome, doctor.” she said before leaving the office.

 

I heard the stories on the League of Assassins, but it somewhat fascinated me that they know Batman’s identity and don’t say anything about it since the mask was viewed as honorable. The next patient should be a fun one…


	12. The Mad Hatter

 

After finishing my notes on Talia, I placed a tea set down near the couch since according to the files, my next patient had a love for tea. As for me, I wasn’t a particularly big tea drinker, and I preferred coffee anyways.

I jumped when the door opened and a man wearing a suit and top hat walked it. He looked like a character straight out of a Tim Burton movie or some Victorian era novel.

“Mr. Tetch, I’m Dr. Liebermann.” I said as I held out my hand.

 

“It’s nice to meet you, doctor.” he said before taking a seat and pouring a cup of tea into the cup in front of him.

 

I then switched my recorder on and said, “This is Dr. Miles Liebermann. The time is 6:35 PM on August 19. The patient’s name is Jervis Lewis Tetch, alias The Mad Hatter.”

 

“Feel free to ask me anything, doctor.”

 

“Could you tell me about your childhood?”

 

“My parents died when I was young, so I took care of my sister, Alice. Her blood was poisonous and could cause people to go mad. Nowadays, the people in this lovely rabbit hole call it the Tetch Virus. My only escapes from reality were my favorite stories: Alice’s Adventures in Wonderlandand Through the Looking Glass.”

 

“What happened to Alice?” I asked.

 

“She died. I tried to have her escape with me from Jim Gordon and Harvey Bullock, but she was impaled on a pole,” he said, taking a sip of his tea and shaking his head. “I was heartbroken. Tweedle-Jim and Tweedle-Harv took my sister from me. Wretched, wretched cops are what they are…”

 _What’s next? Are you going to tell me how a raven is like a writing desk?_ I thought.

 

“You were a hypnotist once, is that true?”

 

“Yes, but I don’t use my skills anymore. The only thing close to that is when I control people’s minds with hats containing behavior modification devices I make myself.”

 

“Last question, Mr. Tetch.” I said. “What’s your relationship with Batman?”

  

“Batman broke the looking glass for me. I vow to get that cowl as my latest mind controlling hat if it’s the last thing I do. After that, it’s off with his head!” he said before pulling out a pocket watch and getting up. “Well, I must be going, doctor. I am late for a very important date.”

 

“Thank you for stopping by.” I said as I held the door for him.

Before leaving, he tipped his hat to me and disappeared into the hallway. I emptied the tea pot and put the set into a drawer before taking a seat at my desk to write my notes.


	13. The Scarecrow

 

I sat waiting for the next patient as I looked up from my recorder when the door opened. In walked what looked like my weirdest patient yet: he was dressed in a suit with a crudely done sack as a mask. It didn’t match at all, but the files warned me to not ask him to take the mask off.

“Dr. Crane?” I asked while holding out my hand. “I’m Dr. Liebermann.”

 

He shook my hand, unimpressed, and said under his breath, “Pleasure’s all mine…”   
  
I watched him take a seat as I turned my recorder on.

 

“This is Dr. Miles Liebermann. The time is 7:23 AM on August 20. The patient’s name is Dr. Jonathan Simon Crane, alias The Scarecrow. Do you mind if I ask you some questions?”

 

“Not at all.”

 

“What was your childhood like?” I asked.

 

“It only takes two words to describe it: lonely and miserable. My mother left a day after I was born, so my father raised me. He was abusive and used me as a lab rat for his fear experiments until I killed him with a homemade pest control chemical when I was seventeen.” he said.

 _Again with the daddy issues…_ I thought.

 

“I’m guessing you didn’t have any love life since you were busy studying fear like your father?”

 

“Correct, I was never interested in finding love, even though Poison Ivy is attracted to me. Then again, she’s attracted to everyone. I have more important things to deal with though.”

 

“So, did you take your father’s experiments and make them into your infamous Fear Toxin, also known as Fear Gas?” I asked.

 

He nodded and asked, “What are you afraid of? I always ask that since everyone is basically just a lab rat to me like what my father thought of me and his other subjects.”   
  


“Let’s just move on to the final question…What’s your relationship with Batman?”

 

“Ah, yes, him…I want to break Batman and take out everything he ever loved and that he’s afraid to lose. Soon, my toxin will infect the entire city!”

Slightly freaked out, I turned off my recorder and showed him the door.

 

“Alright, that’s enough. It was a pleasure talking to you, Dr. Crane!” I said, my voice quickening as I pushed him out the door.

I took a deep breath and went to take my notes on him. The fact that he tried to psychoanalyze me and delve into my fears was a bit too much. I was just glad to get it over with.


	14. Ra's al Ghul

I sat staring at my recorder as my next patient walked in.  I looked up to see a middle-aged man with black hair that was white on the sides, bright green eyes, and a green suit with a matching cape.

“Mr. al Ghul, I’m Dr. Liebermann.” I said as I shook his hand.

 

“A pleasure to meet you, good sir,” he said, taking a bow.

 

I watched him take a seat as I turned on my recorder and said, “This is Dr. Miles Liebermann. The time is 8:55 PM on August 21. The patient’s name is Ra’s Daemon al Ghul. There is no alias for the patient.”

 

“Ask away, doctor.”

 

“First question, what was your childhood like?”

“For how long ago it was, I cannot remember it well.” he said with a shrug.

 

I nodded. The files did mention that he was centuries old. Maybe that wasn’t the best question to ask… 

“I interviewed your daughter a few days ago and she told me that you regarded her as a failure. Is that true?” I asked.

 

“Yes, but she has improved greatly. The Lazarus Pit has done wonders for her skills as well as her own training.”

 

“Could you tell me more about the Lazarus Pit? Your daughter was vague on it.”

 

“It is a spring filled with a mystical compound that keeps my followers immortal and gives them enhanced skills that assist them in battle.”

 

 _An evil hot tub? Weird…_ I thought.

“Last question, Mr. al Ghul, what’s your relationship with Batman?” I asked. “Your daughter mentioned knowing his secret identity, but also mentioned that he’s not worthy for the League of Assassins. Care to elaborate?”

 

“Like my daughter, I know the Bat’s true identity, but I will not tell anyone, not even the clown and his foolish group of friends. As much as I despise Batman, I view the mask as a mark of honor. The reason why he is not worthy for my group is because he betrayed us.” he said.

Once he was finished, I turned off my recorder.  

 

“Okay, I have everything I need. Thanks, Mr. al Ghul.”

 

“Thank you for your time, doctor.” 

With that, he got up and left my office. I only had one more interview left to do…for now.


	15. The Joker

Today was the day, my final interview for now. This was going to be a hard one since not many things were known about him.

I jumped when I heard the door open and my patient walked in. He was incredibly skinny and taller than me. He had pale skin like Mr. Freeze, bright green hair, and red lips while dressed in a purple pinstripe suit and matching gloves. He was truly a twisted sight to behold.

I was going to greet him, but he just ignored me and took a seat on the couch with a large smile on his face.

 _Rude much?_ I thought as I switched my recorder on.

 

“This is Dr. Miles Liebermann. The time is 11:05 AM on August 22.  This is my final psychoanalysis…for now. The patient’s name is unknown, but prefers to be called by his alias, The Joker.” I said.

 

“THE one and only, doctor. I liked the pause for dramatic effect when you were talking about this being your last for now.” he said with a smirk. “You chose a good one.”

 

I raised an eyebrow at him and ignored his comment, beginning my questions.

 

“What was your childhood like?”

 

“I was just a nobody kid who happened to idolize the great comedic legends of the past. You know, Chaplin, Keaton, the Marx Brothers…or did I grow up in a circus because my mother was a slutty snake charmer and my father was a blind fortune teller? No, no, my father was an alcoholic and stuck a blade in my mouth to carve a smile on my face…”

It was as if he was deliberately trying to waste my time. He kept changing his story, which made things confusing for me.

 

“Can we just skip the jokes, so I can ask my next question?” I asked with a sigh.

 

“Skip the jokes? No way! I take that Sharpie didn’t tell you that jokes are my specialty?” he said, laughing.

 

I took a deep breath. I’ve never been this frustrated with a patient before.

 

“What about love life? I know you and Harley are an item.” 

“I do my best when it comes to romance. Before Harley, I had several loves I believe. I had a wife, you know. She was always pushing me to smile more, so I carved a smile into my own face to get her to shut up…or did she and my child die in a horrible explosion while I was out with friends? I think I also had an affair with Carl Grisson’s mistress who later threw herself out the window.”

 

 _Be professional, Miles. He’s just trying to annoy you…_ I thought.

“How did you become the way you are?” I asked as I prevented my patience from boiling over.

 

“Now, THAT’S an interesting one.” he said with a small laugh. “I was once a comedian who get heckled, so I took my revenge…or did I lose my anger over my mother pushing me over the edge, so I killed her and my father? Maybe I was a chemical engineer who took revenge on my boss, but fell into a vat of chemicals, which bleached my skin and turned my hair green.”

I gritted my teeth and sighed.

 

“You disgust me.”

 

“I’m not disgusting, doc. I’m hilarious.”

 

I groaned and said, “Answer this last question and DON’T waste my time, what’s your relationship with Batman like?”

“Good old Batsy! Oh yes, I have fun during our little escapades. I commit some crime, he chases me, we fight a little, he sends me back here, and the cycle repeats. It’s a great game for me. My only concern is that he’s not happy enough like me. All I want is to put a smile on that face of his.” he said.

 

With that, he let out a maniacal laugh. I stood up and groaned. 

“Thank you, Joker, I have everything I need to know. You can leave now.” I said.

 

“Alright…” he said as he walked to the door. “Maybe if you’re interested, could you join me and the others for— “

 

“NO.” I said, slamming the door in his face. 

I went to my desk and wrote my notes for The Joker. Once I was finished, I grabbed a pen and some paper and began to write a note to Mr. Sharp.


	16. A Note to the Warden

From the desk of Dr. Miles Liebermann:

_Dear Warden Sharp,_

_Thank you for letting me take this job. It was a pleasure getting to dig deep into the minds of these criminals._

_I now have a better understanding on why they do these terrible things, even if some wish for the impossible like to be normal again or to get their sick wife cured._

_Honestly, I’m going to miss them since I’ll be taking some time off for myself. It’s been a bit stressful._

_When I get back, feel free to send me more patients to interview. I enjoy my job a lot. Oddly enough, my office here at Arkham has become a second home for me._

_It’s funny how things work out, right?_

_Feel free to contact me on who I’ll be interviewing before I get back and I’ll be sure to do the job, I promise you._

_Sincerely,_

_Dr. Miles Liebermann_


End file.
